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This is one of those cards which is made worse by looking at the flavour text, which reads: They call it stitchers anaesthesia, a spell to deaden the senses while the mad doctors begin their grisly work. That means that this person is not only alive, but about to be butchered and probably sewn onto a bunch of other people to make a Skaab Goliath or something

Jubilant Mascot This rate isnt good enough for a +1/+1 counters deck

Blood Moon If its good enough for Modern, right

Look at the top two cards of your library, keep one and then "scry away" the other to the bottom of your library

The 'Rock the Boat' ability deals one damage to each opposing character, and 'Puny Pirate!' deals two damage to a single opposing character any time Tinker Bell banishes a character during your turn