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If you controlled that artifact, create three 1/1 red Phyrexian Goblin creature tokens

Card Text: Whenever an opponent loses life during your turn, if your speed is 1 or greater, increase your speed by 1

Edit: for what its worth, none of the 93 sold listings registered by PSA are of the corrected version

Some Pokedex entries even report it carrying off children if this was a 'Scariest Pokemon' list, it would no doubt be top

You can drop this on turn three, sacrifice a two-drop artifact dork for two cards and two mills, sac it to Goblin Welder to swap for something you just milled or what you sacrificed, and then swap the sacrificed or milled card on turn four for this to keep